What If? (Kissing Gone Wrong)

My friends and I, E and H, were talking about kissing. I'm not too sure how we got on the subject, but our fears of all the wrongs that would happen suddenly came out. To make it easier, I'm going to show you some of the FB chat.

Me: I've always wondered if my first kiss will be awkward. Knowing how awkward I am, it will be. lol

E: Oh man, I've already determined that my first kiss will be awkward too. Waaay awkward. For the same reason you think yours will be: I am an awkward person. I'm going to end up missing or something.

Or, he will be too tall and I will be too short.

Or, I will hiccup or belch or something of the sort.

Me: I'll be afraid I'll, like, fall over. Or what if their lips are...like funny tasting? I know that sounds gross, but, I mean, you gotta think of these things! xD

Em: Aaahhh, all these perfectly awkward first kisses which will probably come true.

I know!! I mean, what if he had been eating onions?? Or like a sloppy Joe??

Me: Or what if they like, cough/burp/sneeze on you? What do you do?

Em: I know!! So, what if we aren't the awkward ones, but what if they are? How do you react in these sort of situations? And what if your noses get in the way? Which way is it supposed to go? Left or right??

Me: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M THINKING? What if you can't breath because your noses aren't working out and you don't wanna be mean and jump away, gasping for air? Gosh, I think I'll never kiss. 0_0 xD

H:I know me and my first kiss the guy would have terrible breath. And I would freak out. And he would get mad. And... ewww...

Em: Or if he doesn't close his eyes and is just creepily staring at you the whole time?

H: Or what if my asthma kicked in?? And I died kissing him..?? AGHHHHH

Em: That would be bad if you died in the middle of your first kiss. O.O

Me: AWWW, gawh, ew. xD

I bet he would feel bad.

How would you explain THAT to the cops?

"Yeah, we were...uh, kissing...and she just...died."

"I swear I didn't do it."

H: Or my headstone..... "She died kissing her boyfriend.... no he's NOT that good of a kisser."

We're so messed up. What the hell is wrong with us? xD

So, if you HAVE kissed someone, please send our fears somewhere far away.

If you haven't been kissed, what are YOUR fears?

*Jocelyn*