Easier Said Than Done

The past is a dreadful place.
In the past, we only store the memories of depiction, betrayal, pain, and all the other negatives. In the past, that's where all the wrongs are.

The future, now that can be hopeful. That can be hopeful until we start comparing it to the past. The past, the dreadful past. The past, which harbors our most sorrowful moments. It's frustrating, but true. The better moments in our life are shadowed by the terrible ones.

That's why I only remember the pain my friends bought me, not the joy.
That's why I only remember the death of my beloved friend, not the good times we had together.
That's why I only remember the depression, not the happiness.

That's why the future looks so bleak.

But I'm not going to let that define my life. I'm not going to let the past become the future. Sure, life is going to suck. I'm going to have some of the hardiest times of my life, especially as I am heading towards those scary first few years of adult-hood. But who cares? I'm going to make it through. Millions and billions of people have made it through in the same state I'm in. Why can't I?

But in order to do that, I have to forgive and forget the past. You heard me right: FORGIVE and forget.
There are moments in my past, moments that make my heart sputter to a stop, that haunt me everyday. That have cut deep into my soul, making sure the gash is almost in able to heal. There have been people, Stephanie, Ellie, who probably never meant to, but hurt me like never before. There has been family, my Grandparents, who have rejected me, made me feel like I was never enough, or not sane.

There has been me, who has harmed me over and over again.

There is no way in hell that I'm going to let these things of the past tear me down. It's time for me to shed them, put them in the closet. They might tumbled down from the top shelf at times and stir those angry and depressed feelings, but one day I'll be able to clean up the mess with out feel a shed of ether.

So, forgive. Forget. Don't let these things bother you anymore.


Ha. I wish. Easier said than done, right?

**Jocelyn**