Do I Look Like A Hooker? (Strange Compliments)

I get compliments and I love every single one of them. We all get compliments and love them. You'd have to be INSANE not to like them!

But, for some odd reason I can't place my finger on, I get compliments in the strangest way. I decided I'd share some of my 'strange' compliments with you guys. And before you think I'm going all vain, the topic popped into my mind because I'm trying to be positive and acknowledge that I'm not all that bad.

My List of Strange/Awkward Compliments


1. One day, while dropping my brother off at a friends house (who happened to be fifthly rich and had a house the size of my town.), we went inside to talk with this kids mom, whom we've never met before. When we met, she is really sweet and tells me, "Oh, you're so beautiful!" If my skin wasn't bridging on African American, I would have had the reddest cheeks on the face of the planet. But, no, that's no the awkward part.

We're all together, my brother, my mom, his friends and his friend's mom. Some how we got on the topic of future jobs and the friend's mom asked me what I wanted to be. I was, like, thirteen at the time, so I shrugged and said the classic, "I dunno...yet." Then she goes, "You could be a model!" >turns to the boys< "Couldn't she be a model?"

In my mind, I'm going, "OH, HELL NO, DON'T ASK THEM THAT!!!!"
I mean, honestly, my brothers friends? Really? Don't put them on the spot like that. I can't even remember their reactions I was so mortified. Gawh.

So, that might not be awkward to you, but it sure as hell was for ME.

2. My brother and I (hem, my brother must have a curse on me) were walking into Wal*Mart and passed the elderly black man. As we're about to head in he tells my brother, Anthony, "Hm, that girl is too good for you!" and then says to me, "You're too good for him, that's for sure."

I was mortified, once again. This is my BROTHER, not my BOYFRIEND. (You don't know how many times that happens to us. I mean, you'd think since we look a LOT alike, that they'd catch on. But no.)

We did set the guy straight, thank gosh. But it took about a minute for us to even understand what he meant.

3. They just get stranger and stranger. Anyway, we were loading stuff into the car, Anthony and I (AGAIN! Why is it always with him?!?!?). These two guys were walking by, wanna be gangsters, but they're like, 50 years old so it ain't working. They're talking to each other, and because I'm such a nosy person, I was eavesdropping.

Suddenly, one said to the other, "Damn! Boys are gonna be all over that one like butter popcorn!"

This time I wasn't scared for life. This time I wanted to laugh because, I mean, popcorn? Butter popcorn? That's ALL you can come up with?

It turns out that Anthony must have been eavesdropping to, because gives me this, "What the hell did he just say look?" and says, "Wait...what?" I played oblivious of course. I'm good at playing that, I have to a lot.

4.
I was walking our dog, Gawain, who is an Saint Bernard. Everyone is always so shocked by his size. Meh, I grew up with Great Danes, Irish Wolfhounds and the big Saint B's. But everyone else hasn't.

One guy stops me to look at Gawain and says, "Man, you and your dog are beautiful."

I don't think you flatter a girl when you tell her that she is just as beautiful as her dog.

5. I was in the story, looking for Bean Sprouts. I had just run in and it had been raining so I had to take off my glasses and swipe all the rain off. As I did this, I was walking by this guy restocking shelves. He pauses, turns to look at me and says, "Wow, you look just as good with your glasses on as you do with them off."

Stupid me didn't hear what he said because my mind was else where, so I just nodded and smiled. It wasn't till I saw his kinda, "Okay...." look that I realized what he had said. Blushing, I told him thank-you. xD

6. And the last, but not least!

I was walking home from work one day, because I had no ride. Mind you, I was wearing realllly crappy clothes because I work at the vets. (I basically clean up around there. Blech.) And this series of events happen:

- First, at an intersection, a car full of teenage guys (a.k.a idiots) passed by. As they went by, one leaned out the window and yelled, "FIFTY DOLLA? CAN I GET YA' FOR FIFTY DOLLA'S?!?! FIFTY DOLLA'S" He yelled it in this really bad Indian accent. And even when they were half-way down the road, he was yelling, "HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH?" Laughing the whole time.

The urge to give him a one-fingered jester was so strong. So, damn strong.

Then, as I'm still plotting along, pissed at the idiot who yelled at me, two trucks go by. Not at the same time, but close together and honk at me. And another blows past with ANOTHER guy hanging out the window, whooping and blowing the horn.

My pissed meter went from five to ten. It wasn't like I was wearing anything  immodest and I was in JUNK clothes. The thoughts, 'DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING HOOKER TO YOU?" went through my head 194832923 times.

And to put the big, fat cherry on top of the crap icing and crap cake, I was waiting to cross the road when these guys in their yard, hanging out in the bed of their truck, stand up and start yelling at me. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but their gestures told me everything I needed to know.

I walked fast as hell.

Needless to say, I now know my town is filled with a bunch of freaky perverted teenage guys. Lord, help me.


Okay, so that that's the end of the list. xD
I'm not trying to sound vain, I swear! They're just good laughs!!

:D

**Jocelyn**