I Will Catch Him

Woah. I haven't posted in a while. That's screwed up.

I hate to make my "I'm back post" a depressing one, but I'm settling into one of those fouls moods you just can't avoid. I'm angry, angry at someone who I've only seen a couple of times. I'm angry at them for entering his, being my only brother, life. I'm angry at them for being there, stealing his heart, when I know you're only setting it up for a fall.

I'm his sister. You're the girl who's trying to take him and break him. I won't allow you to hurt him. Trust me, I won't. You see, I'm one of those siblings that depended on their sister/brother. I needed them a good deal in my life and they received me, helped me stagger along this steep path called life. And I promise you, I will do all I can to make sure I can help them along this steep path.

Girl, I see it inside you, every time I look into your eyes. I know something is lurking behind them, something that will shine bright one day and reveal the beast inside and in that process, the beast will strike him, my brother, and leave him so damage I'm afraid I can't heal him.

I'm angry that I can't heal it. I'm angry that my brother no longer sees me, no longer wants me there. All he wants is you, but you're not right. There is something wrong, something terribly wrong. Call me paranoid, but it's true. And when this wrong makes itself known, I'll be even angrier...at myself for not speaking up. But whatcan I say?

"I hate her. Stop seeing her. I hope she dumps you, or you dump her, because you guys are beyond wrong for each other."

Yeah, that sounds like a perfect plan. Not.
I think it would just make him want to be with her more and that would be the exact opposite of what I want. And I want her gone. Out of the pictures. I want her GONE.

I know, I know. You're reading this thinking, "Gawh, girl, you're being cruel. I'm sure they're actually in love. Understand your brother."

Understand me. If you felt what I feel when I see her, when I look at her,then you'd understand. Trust me, I've had my step-brother, who I' also close to, get married and I know how it feels to not like the girl because I'm the younger sister. But this is different. My brother is about to fall and I want to catch him before it can really hurt.

God, please, let me be wrong! Let me be wrong!

Okay, I'll stop. I'll stop now. I punch something important (like my laptop) if I don't stop ranting. If you read this whole post, kudos! You're an amazing person and I love you for it. Thank you, really!

Thanks!

**Jocelyn**