A Perfect Imperfection

Beating yourself up can be hard not to do.
I beat myself up at least once a day. It's gotten to the point that I basically verbally/mentally abuse myself. There has been days I hate myself. It becomes a vicious circle actually. I'm angry at myself, then I get angry at myself for being angry at myself and it goes on and on and on.

But I have hope.

I've beaten myself up over my dancing for the past three years, but here I am. Two years into dance and I've already been moved up. I've been complemented by my dance teacher and other dancers billions of times. I know I don't have any crazy moves, but I do have what it takes to do those things. Even though I tell myself I can't dance, I won't ever dance, that I'm the worst dancer on the face of the planet...I don't believe it. If I believed it, I would have quit dancing years ago. I would have given up and not tried to become better.

Ever since I was eight, I've torn my writing apart. I told myself it was pathetic, no one would read it, so on and so forth. But the few people I shared my writing with; they loved it. They told me I was an amazing writer. But I still beat myself up over all of it. I can never finish a story because I'm lost in all my errors, not my perfections. That's changing. I'm liking my stories for the good parts, not the bad. I know I can change the bad into good.

So, what I'm trying to say is this:
Don't beat yourself up over every little thing.

I don't only lash out at myself over things like dance. No, I get mad at myself when I turn in a project late, or forget to do something my mom told me to do. I even beat myself up when something happens to a friend of family member that I had nothing to do with.

I blame myself all the time.
My warning to you, even if you're older and wiser, is to not blame yourself. Don't get angry with yourself.. Your imperfections and mistake only make you better, stronger and more beautiful. Nothing can change what an amazing person you are. I am.

I don't doubt for a second that I will beat myself over the head for something today, but I also don't doubt I'll be able to ignore it and tell all those stupid thoughts to f**k off. And I know you will to.

Okay. I'm ending this sappy little wanna-be-inspirational post now. (Haha! See, I'm even doing it now! And I just told it to go away. I'm doing good!)


**Jocelyn**