State of the Arts

I'm reading a book called State of the Arts by Gene Edward Veith JR. It's for school, which made me automatically put it into the 'probably cool, but I won't understand it' category.

I'm proud to say that I understand and it and love it. I can't look at art the same anymore! I'm only a couple chapters in, but still, I'm finding it amazing. If it wasn't for the stupid research papers, I'd really like art class. I'm an artsy girl, but I hate research papers. I hate a lot of things about school. I also like a lot of things about it too. 

I'm loving Biology and Logic, but not Art History because of all the projects we have to do. Hey, it's what I have to do for an education. Hahaha! 

Anyway, the book is truly awesome. I can understand all of it; that's a huge plus. And it's so...informative. And I feel so smart now. xD It gives you a new way too look at all the art you see. From the art in a restaurant to the paintings in a museum. My class should be going to an Art Museum. We're suppose to be able to identify any artist work, the time period and what style it's in by the end of the semester. I hope I can do it. I would really like to be able to do things like that. Next semester it will be music that we study and we're going to have to do the same thing.  

Sadly, I have to get back to doing Art History that I don't like. =|  

**Jocelyn** 

Ron Is My Man...xD

I've discovered that weak heros are the best type of hero there are.

In most generic fantasies you have the hero/heroin who is stubborn, always makes the right choices, and even if they do make the wrong choice, they end up correcting that choice, blaming themselves for all the trouble and being basically perfect, even with their flaws. 

But a weak hero/heroin, the one that screws up but thinks they were in the right, the one who makes bad decisions, the one who feels like giving up and basically doesn't know what they're doing, the one who is basically your average human being, is so much better. 

You can relate to them every time they blunder because you would do the same thing. You understand why they don't know what they're doing, because, honestly, if you were in the same situation, you'd feel the same way! 

I'll like my characters to be like real people. I don't want everything about them to be realistic (well, in certain fantasies) because there are some aspects of humans that just don't need to be ventured in to. But things like emotions, dialogue, actions, have to come off as real, which is really hard for a writer to do. If you've created a character who is like you, then you just put yourself into that character. But if you have created a character who is the exact opposite of you, you kind of have to become an actor in your writing and pretend you were that person. You know what I mean?

There is so much more to writing when you dive deep into it. I guess I dive too deep, because I analyze my writing WAYYY too much; to the point were nothing I write is good enough. I guess I should stop that...xD

Anyway. Weak heros can connect with the reader better and therefore, it's easier to tug the readers emotional strings. If you have Mr./Mrs. Perfect in there then your reader will block them out because no one likes perfect. That's why so many main characters are the least favorite. It's usually other characters, like the comic relief, the homicidal psychopath (xD), crazy, unashamed kid, and thoughtful, wise guy/lady who are the favorites because they're more believable. They have aspects people can relate to.

Ask anyone who their favorite character from Harry Potter is. I'm betting 99.9% will say someone OTHER than Harry and he's the one with his name on the cover! No one cares about Harry. No, they care about Ron and the stupid things he says. They care about Dumbledore and his silly personality. They don't care about Harry, the boy who lived, blah, blah, blah.

Readers usually don't want anyone supernaturally perfect, but someone forced into greatness and unready for any challenge. Or at least I do.

xD

Sorry, I've been writing all day, which is a relief considering I've had writers block. I get it A LOT. Anyway, that explains my random writing rant/outburst. lol

I might post a clip of my story sometime! :D

**Jocelyn**

Small Dreams

We all have big dream and we all have small ones. Here are some of my smaller, less 'important' ones.


I want to have my own horse. And I really want a Black Arabian gelding. Oh, wow. Just look at that horse! Okay, so maybe these *aren't* small dreams. xD

So, these are turning into major dreams. Sorry. Dang, there must not be such a thing as a 'small dream'. xD
Anyway, I want to, one day, preform at least one ballet in front of hundreds and leave them in awe.

I want to participate in a ImprovEverywhere or Flash Mob. How cool would that be? Just being able to do something TOTALLY wacky for the heck of it. Wait...I do that everyday.

I want to learn how to break dance so bad. I guess I should actually get some upper body strength...  I wish sit ups would cover it all. I hate you stupid push ups and planks. >.>

Finally,

I want to go on a road trip with all of my friends. I've been on a two hour ride with a couple before, but I really want to go on like, a day to week long one with them. It just seems like a lot of fun. :]

Tell me some of your small, but actually major, dreams!

**Jocelyn**

(I own none of these photos)

Childhood memories...

Can you remember all of your favorite childhood T.V shows, books and toys? I sure as hell can't.
xD

When you're young, you don't try and remember anything because you don't feel like you'll ever forget it, you know? And even if you do forget it; who cares? Life was life. Everything was so black and white. That was right, this was wrong. That was fun, that stunk. That tasted amazing, that tasted horrible. That was all that mattered.

Ah, those were the days. I think seven or eight is the best age. I'm not totally sure why, but they are. I think it's because you are able to understand a few things and have some responsibility but not too much.

I remember thinking 16 would never come. But, look, here I am. I've been sixteen for several months now.

HOLY CRAP, I'VE BEEN SIXTEEN FOR FOUR MONTHS NOW! 0_0

I use to beg God to let me make it to fifteen and, well, I'm long past fifteen. Oh, sh*t. I'm getting OLD. XD
I was just thinking about when I first met some of my best friends. My jaw dropped when I realized I've known those two kids for ten years. Ten crazy short years.

Where has the time gone?

Okay, okay. I'm going to stop going on and on about how old I'm feeling at age 16. I have a lot ahead of me, God willing. Like college. You don't know how badly I want to go to college. My biggest fear is NOT getting into college. I want to have an amazing carrier doing what I love. I want to be able to make a difference somewhere.

I look around my small town and pray and pray that I don't get the life most of these people do. Not that their lives aren't fine in their own way, but I just couldn't imagine a life so...so...I don't know, simple and generic. You know? I can't stand LIVING in this town. I'm no city girl, I'm more of a woods girl, but this small town hick central is going to KILL ME.

That's good ol' NC/VA for you. Yayyyy. >.> Not.

Okay, rambling is ENDING. NOW. YEAH, LIKE...NOW. xD

Thanks for reading this insanity!

**Jocelyn**

I've been obsessed with this song lately.

I heard it on Pandora one day on my Jason Mraz channel. Ah, the wonders of Pandora. I haven't been on there in ages though. It's introduced me to several songs I now own though. Like two Bruno Mars songs (Yes, I listen to him. Got a problem wid dat? xD LOL). And this song, a Florence + The Machine song and a Straight No Chaser song. As you can tell, I have a wide variety of music. I like anything from rap to rock, which you don't usually find.

I'm the person who's listening to Coldplay one second, then Nicki Minaj the next. I like a lot of music, but I can be pick at times. I have to like the song right away for it to be on my list of songs. Well, I take that back. Sometimes songs grow on me, but that's sort of rare.

And I'm usually not prejudice against the artist. No matter how much I can't stand Lady Gaga as a person, I do like her music. I don't like Ke$ha but I do have a song by her. I don't like LMFAO, but I love one of their songs.

Most of my favorite artist are some variation of 'rock' though. (There are SO many different types of rock. I don't try and keep up with them. So, basically every band out there is some type of rock, just so you know.) I like Coldplay, The Fray, Lifehouse, The Script, Linkin Park, Mumford & Sons, Maroon 5, Nickleback and Tenth Avenue North. That's just a few. As for 'solo' artist...well, let's not even start that list. xD

So, what type of music do you listen to/like?
I gave you a few of my favorite bands and a song I like right now. ( I tend to over play songs, so I end up sick of them. lol)

I think I'll keep on giving you guys songs I like. I know I always like finding new music. :]

**Jocelyn**

Almost A Star

It started when I feel asleep,
a quite whisper in my ear.
I told me everything I wished to hear,
"One day you'll be shining bright,
blinking in the bright starlight.
You'll dazzle the world,
with your beauty and grace,
and you'll be the light of the night.
One day you'll be a star, so bright,
one day you'll be that star, 
just not tonight." 
I woke with heart beating fast,
because in my head there was an image,
of the things I want and wish to be. 
All day I stood, seeing my coveted future, 
painted in an beautiful image. 
And as I lay down again at night,
I heard the voice loud and clear,
"One day you'll be a star,so bright,
one day you'll be that star,
just not tonight." 
So, everyday, I wake to find, 
that lovely image in mind,
and as night closes in,
and I fall asleep,
I hear that haunting melody.
But now I know everything,
now I know the truth in me.
Now I know what I'll be,
I'll be that star, shining bright,
I'll be that star, some coming night.
**Jocelyn**

Imagine being this beautiful. (Okay, so I'm not totally sure that thats all star, but it's still beautiful.) I do not own.

 **Jocelyn**

Truth Is...

I think once a week, I'll do a truth is. You know, like that annoying thing people do on FB, but for blogger. Feel free to join in. :]


My Truth for this week is:
I want to fall in love. 


I'm the girl that is always saying, no, I don't want to fall in love. I don't want a guy. I don't need a guy. And at times, I believe this, but at other times, I think I'm a big, fat liar. 


There are times I sit there and feel so lonely that I cry. Yes, I cry. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, crying, but I do it all the time. I feel so weak when I do, but the fact is, I do. It drives me crazy. I get so frustrated about me crying that I cry some more. It's a messed up circle. I might be a girl, but I never act like most girls I know. I'm not 'dramatic' in front of other people. I usually keep all the drama to my self. I don't care much for cheesy romances, but I do want one of my own, sort of. 


I like to create cute outfits, but I hate shopping. I hate fingernail polish. I run with the guys, usually. And, well, I understand guys a lot better than girls half of the time. 


So, when it comes to something like this, I really get pissed. I hate acting vulnerable and emotional, but in some ways I have to in order to become stronger. You know what I mean? That's one reason I created this blog; so I could let things out and not feel totally awkward when I do. Okay, I might still feel awkward at times, but it's way better to vent on here than to my 50 year old mother or best friends who don't actually understand. 


Okay, so. I do want to fall in love. I just don't want to be dumb about it. I want to make a wise choice and pick the right guy. The problem is, my standards are so high for guys and, well, I'm not exactly #1 on any guys list. In fact, I'm starting to think I'm #1 on the DO-NOT-DATE list. Oh, gawh, I hope not. 0.o 


Does anyone else feel like a loser when they admit things like this? It kind of, I don't know, bugs me that I do. I know I shouldn't, but I do. 


Wow, I'm a lot more emotional than I thought. Maybe it's a good thing that I don't go sob-storying everyone I know. xD lols 


...I think I'll go have a few mood swings before I got to bed...


**Jocelyn** 

Procrastinating

It's so easy to procrastinate. Actually, that's what I'm doing now.
I should be writing a paper, but I'm here, writing a blog post, when I should be writing that paper.

I've had five days to write this paper and I'm waiting till now, when I only have one day left, to write this paper. Can you say idiot, because that's exactly how I'm acting. A slap might help. On second thought, no, it wouldn't.

I finally decided I'll finish the outline tonight and tackle that terrible rough draft and final copy tomorrow. Yes, I usually finish my projects on the last day possible. It's how I do things and I'm not proud of it. xD Instead of finishing my paper, I finished reading The Knight's Tale by Chaucer, which a thoroughly HATED.  In my opinion, it's a story about two pathetic men who creep on some pretty girl and end up fighting each other for her when she doesn't even WANT to be married. How lame is that?

Thank God that's all over. I was reallyyyy close to burning that book.
Fire. It's the solution to everything. Everything.

Anyway, back to procrastinating.
I love my laptop and iPod, but they make it so easy to stop doing school work and spend a good hour surfing YouTube for useless videos. Why do we do that? Why do we take Nyan Cat over learning how to debate or  Biology?

Oh, that's right. It's because they're a lot less boring.

I usually like things like Logic or Biology though. I guess they're not as awesome as Pop-Tart cats, right? We'll never know, will we? xD

So, maybe I should lock my Laptop and iPod somewhere next time I start doing school work. Maybe that will help... Gawh, I hope so or I'll never get any school work done...EVER! I can't imagine me in college. I'll have to lock myself in some class room away from everyone else at least two hours a day to get any work a day. (Unless that class room was a computer class. That wouldn't help.)

Sigh.

I'm going to work on my story now. I'm procrastinating on that too. Gawh, I procrastinate wayyy too much. I got to stop this. xD

**Jocelyn**