Five Things That I Complain About!

Everyone has pet peeves. Everyone knows someone who is like a trigger to their pet-peeve gun.
I'm going to take this time to complain about my pet peeves. Because, well, complaining is so much dang fun!


1. Not Finishing Your Sentences 
If you don't...
See how ANNOYING that is?!?!? It's torture! It would be one thing if people gave you a hint to what they were going to say, like, 'If you don't finish your sentences I will personally...' At least then we have some boundaries to guess around in. But when you just drop off at the very beginning of a sentence, leaving me wondering, I want to SCREAM.

So, finish your sentences. Or I will go all crazy black woman on you.

2. Whispering 
Call me nosy, but if you're going to say something: say it out loud. The more you whisper around me, the more I want to shove my nose into your business. But, hey, I'm guilty of it too. I'm being a hypocrite. I don't care. Don't whisper.

3. Complaining About My Taste In Something
Okay, guilty again. I do this, sometimes, but it pisses me off when other people do it to me too. If you don't like my style then DEAL. If it's something offensive, I can understand. If it's something harmful, I can understand. If it's because you don't like the color, then f**k off. (Wow, I'm sounding so cheery! I swear I'm in a good mood guys, I swear!)

4. Being Rebellious Because It's Cool
It's one thing to be rebellious because you want to and you think it's better for you. It's another thing if you do it because Bobby Jo is doing it. Get. A. Life.
(I SWEAR I'M IN A GOOD MOOD. XD)

5. Chewing With Your Mouth Open
One word: manners. If you can't chew with your mouth closed, then you can't pass a test. God gave us the ability to open and close our mouth for a reason.

Okay, so those are my pet peeves.
You tell me yours, so I can be sure to ignore them. ;]

**Jocelyn**

I'm Meant For So Much More

I'm better. I swear I am.

I still feel down and upset, a lot, but I finally opened up. Sure, things are going peachy keen, like I hoped they would, but they're going. I guess that's better than nothing.

I've been looking back and I've realized I've put myself through a lot of crap. But here I am, alive and well. Still walking, talking, breathing...

I guess I've realized that I'm stronger than I think I am and even if I feel like I won't make it...I will. I haven't caved in yet. I don't think I ever will. I might make stupid little post about how bad I feel, but the truth is: I won't let it get in the way. I'll find a way out.

I'm not trying to sound all self-righteous or anything. I'm just saying that I haven't given up and I don't plan on ever doing so. I don't think I have it in me to actually give up. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's selfishness, or maybe I'm meant for so much more than pain and strife.

I meant for so much more than dark depression.
And strangely...I believe it.


Thank God.

**Jocelyn**

Dear Blank,

Dear Blank, 

I don't know how to explain it. I don't even know how it became. All I know is that it feels like I'm slowly being eaten alive. 

I don't feel like doing anything. Not even laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. All I want to do is sleep. Sleep it all away. Sleep till the world is old and grey and there is nothing left. Nothing. But I can't sleep. I can't even close my eyes without drifting back into Sorrow's arms. 

When I'm awake, all I can think about is it. My mind goes no where else. I wonder why it happens to me. I wonder if anyone I know feels the same way. I wonder if certain people knew, would they treat me differently. And I wonder if death would make it easier. If death would relieve me from the hardest and heaviest burden I've ever experienced: life. 

I know God hears my pleas for his help. I just don't feel like he is doing anything about it. I know he sees my tears, but it feels like he doesn't care about them. In other words, I feel completely alone. Like I've been hidden away, isolated. My God, who was my last hope, seems to be missing. Or maybe, as usual, I'm doing something wrong. It's usually my fault, isn't it? 

I'm the reason that what could have a great friendship fell apart, shattered. I'm the reason my Mom struggles to pay the bills every week. I could possibly even be the reason my parents divorced, leaving their hopes and dreams of a happy family in a pile somewhere far, far away. 

I feel like if I died I'd be doing the whole world a favor. But what if someone misses me? I would have caused yet another problem. 

I'm a big, fat, stinkin', huge, pathetic, pain in the ass. 

I even feel like I'm a problem, a crazy harassment of a problem, to God. Maybe that's why he won't help me. 

I'm sorry God. 

I'm sorry everyone. 

I didn't ask to be this way. But I guess someone has to and I'd rather it be me than you. 

-Jocelyn- 

P.S

I know it's not your burden to carry, but I just needed to let you know. I can't go on without letting you know. 

Life

Life can suck.

It's that simple, but yet life is so hard.
It's like the simplest maze that no one can master.

Fudge it all. Fudge. It. All.

Yeah, I'm not feeling to great. I'm sorry to bother you with a post about it. (Seriously, I'm sorry.) Just needed a small amount of venting.


**Jocelyn**

One of those shallow post about hot guys...

Let's just cut the chase here. I have a list of really hot guys. If you're a sane female, then you want to see my list.

(NOTE: They are in no particular order. How could I possibly decided anyway?)

1. Christian Bale

You saw his face? Okay, nuff said.

2. Heath Ledger

It's so hard to find the perfect picture to describe how hot he was. R.I.P. All your fan girls miss you. A lot.

3. Callan McAuliffe

I MIGHT have let out a little girl giggle when I GoogleImaged Callan.
Don't judge me.

4. William Moseley

Another girlish giggle might have occurred. I don't know, I was too busy drooling over this photo. 0_0

5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Be still my heart.
xD

Okay, I'm getting tired, so I'll finish there.
Girls, don't die.
Guys, don't cry.

**Jocelyn**

Cussing.

I cuss.
Everyone does it as some point; sometimes on accident and sometimes on purpose.
I don't like to cuss, but I do. I've grown up in a home that disapproves of cussing (which is funny, because my mother curses a lot.), but I still cuss.

It has it's problems, cussing. But it also has it's benefits.
I read somewhere once (a very detailed story, I know) that cussing actually helps release anger and anxiety. But it also makes me feel guilty after I've let out a string of profane words.

It's strange how it starts. You hear it all the time when you're young. You can't escape it. Although you hear it all the time, you'd never dream of letting any of those 'nasty' words come out of your mouth. But one day, when you're pissed at your mom, stressed because of school work, and plain out miserable it just comes to you. You wonder: Maybe if I say this one word, I'll feel better!

And then you say it:

F**k my life.

And you feel better. And then you say it again and again and again, not sure why the hell you're saying it because after a while, it doesn't help you. It doesn't change a thing. All you feel now is the need to march yourself down stairs and shove a bar of soap in your nasty, little mouth. But you don't.

You just continue to curse. In fact, around certain people who you know would have a full-blown heart attack if they heard you even mutter 'sniz nit', you almost say the mother of all curse words. You almost yell it at the opposing team during a soccer game. It starts taking over you and reminding you each time that you handle your problems in a childish way. You take the easy way out. You go against everything you learn just to feel a tiny bit better.

I guess that's another reason on the List-Of-Reasons-Jocelyn-Made-This-Blog. I want to find a better way to express how I feel. I'm sick of almost saying, "Dam*it, I forgot my tithe again!" in the middle of Church. (Do you know how screwed up that would be?) Most of all, I want to stop feeling like God is cringing every time I let one loose. Because (this is scary to me), the more I swear, the more I find myself using his name in vain too.

So, maybe this cursing thing will stop and this blog thing will go on. That would be pretty awesome, right?

:]

**Jocelyn**

Paradise

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

So she ran away in her sleep

Dreamed of para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Every time she closed her eyes

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on

It gets so heavy

The wheel breaks the butterfly

Every tear, a waterfall

In the night, the stormy night

She closed her eyes

In the night, the stormy night

Away she flied

She dreamed of para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

She dreamed of para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

La la la La 

La la la

So lying underneath those stormy skies.

She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

I know the sun's set to rise.

This could be para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

This could be para- para- paradise

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Could be para- para- paradise

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Could be para- para- paradise

Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

-COLDPLAY, PARADISE 

I swear this song was meant for me...

**Jocelyn**