Truth Is...

I think once a week, I'll do a truth is. You know, like that annoying thing people do on FB, but for blogger. Feel free to join in. :]


My Truth for this week is:
I want to fall in love. 


I'm the girl that is always saying, no, I don't want to fall in love. I don't want a guy. I don't need a guy. And at times, I believe this, but at other times, I think I'm a big, fat liar. 


There are times I sit there and feel so lonely that I cry. Yes, I cry. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, crying, but I do it all the time. I feel so weak when I do, but the fact is, I do. It drives me crazy. I get so frustrated about me crying that I cry some more. It's a messed up circle. I might be a girl, but I never act like most girls I know. I'm not 'dramatic' in front of other people. I usually keep all the drama to my self. I don't care much for cheesy romances, but I do want one of my own, sort of. 


I like to create cute outfits, but I hate shopping. I hate fingernail polish. I run with the guys, usually. And, well, I understand guys a lot better than girls half of the time. 


So, when it comes to something like this, I really get pissed. I hate acting vulnerable and emotional, but in some ways I have to in order to become stronger. You know what I mean? That's one reason I created this blog; so I could let things out and not feel totally awkward when I do. Okay, I might still feel awkward at times, but it's way better to vent on here than to my 50 year old mother or best friends who don't actually understand. 


Okay, so. I do want to fall in love. I just don't want to be dumb about it. I want to make a wise choice and pick the right guy. The problem is, my standards are so high for guys and, well, I'm not exactly #1 on any guys list. In fact, I'm starting to think I'm #1 on the DO-NOT-DATE list. Oh, gawh, I hope not. 0.o 


Does anyone else feel like a loser when they admit things like this? It kind of, I don't know, bugs me that I do. I know I shouldn't, but I do. 


Wow, I'm a lot more emotional than I thought. Maybe it's a good thing that I don't go sob-storying everyone I know. xD lols 


...I think I'll go have a few mood swings before I got to bed...


**Jocelyn**